Duty at the Nursery

bundle of joy

The year 2009 is very meaningful to me. As the year started, I have resolved on many things regarding my, career, my family, my school and social life.

I can say that I am also blessed to be able to meet people and experience things that made a significant difference in my life.

Most significant of all were our clinical rotations where we were exposed to special areas like the Social Development Center and the Nursery (both in CLMMRH and RMC).

The juvenile boys at the Social Development Center made me appreciate what U have and made me so grateful for my family, my home, my education. It made me realize that even if I had sad and painful experiences with my family, friends and classmates, I am still blessed because I still have a lot of things that people long for: a loving family, few but true friends who understand me and that I still have a home to live in and that I still don’t go hungry.

bundle of joy

My nursery experience was amazing. Babies and children are indeed great bundles of joy… honestly, I think that was best area exposure ever. I never felt tired taking care of those babies and I was just left awestruck on the beauty and wisdom of God’s creation.

Well, I  will end this entry here but I know for sure that there will be more fruitful and heartwarming experience to come. I am glad I decided to become a nurse *wink wink!*

extreme opposites yet very much alike

what will you do if you meet people who belong to the opposite extremes?

well, most people wouldn’t really mind and won’t really make a big deal out of them. but what if they greatly affect you emotionally? well, i hope anyone reading this could somehow relate with me.

there was this person whom i seems so slow… as in so slow (if you know what it mean?) he plays with your feelings, makes you feel like you’re the most precious gem in the whole world and then suddenly leaves you hanging in the air. don’t you hate it? just when you thought that you’re the happiest girl on earth, in a blink of an eye… tada! wake up, girl! you’re not!!!!

then there is this other person whom i have met just recently and then suddenly acts as if we’re already ‘tight.’ what’s worse is that he’s acting as if he knows everything about you and that he is included in your everyday schedule. and how i hate it when he texts me every hour checking up on what i am doing… well, i really would like to tell him: hello! just because i made friends with you does not mean that i feel something special for you and that my world already revolves around you! mag menore ka naman! (as what one tv commercial have said!).

okay then. anybody reading this with the least sense of sensivity can tell that i like the first guy and i totally ditch the second one (well, not really… he wasn’t that bad until he revealed his true colors! LOL!).

but you know what the two of them got in common? they are both too insensitive! (or maybe they both pretend to be, either to get rid of me <guy #1>, or just to get his way <guy #2>.

i definitely will not allow guy # 2 to get his way… a no is a no, my dear!

obviously, since guy # 1 is not getting it… then i definitely will have to learn to let him go. tsk, tsk, tsk… so sad… but then, lif emust go on… *wink, wink!

random rantings

oh! it’s so nice to be back! i really find it ironic because i was not able to write a blog entry during the sem break… well, that’s a story worth writing a whole different entry from this one, but the thing is, i have been caught up in a very unusual situation which i promise to tell here in my precious blog once it is finally resolved…

okay now, so what am i trying to say here?

well, nothing. i am just so happy to be writing here again and i know i really do have a lot of things to write about in the coming days. i’m just sharing my excitement to everyone.

*****

another semester in nursing school and i know this is another long and tiring round of physical, mental, emotional and financial stress… but hey, i really would like to accept the challenge! LOL! but i know i cannot do it on my own. so i pray the Lord to guide me and give me the wisdom and knowledge that i need.

*****

during the break i have encountered another dogmatic creature and i was really, really pissed off by her hypocrisy and self- righteousness. i hate it when people use their Christianity and the word of God to justify themselves. these people cannot seem to tell their right acts from the wrong ones, the self- serving acts from the altruistic ones… hahay! it’s so sad. i can’t help but remember Mahatma Gandhi saying: “I like your Christ but I don’t like your Christians!’“

Tsk, tsk, tsk…. how can we be effective witnesses if this is the case? don’t get me wrong, i know i am not exactly an ideal Christian but it’s just so sad that those who claim to be strong in the faith tend to forget what is essential and are more concerned about the legalities of their religion and how they were able to obey it by the letter and so they think this gives them the license to be proud and to be judgmental! hmp!

*****

by the way, i turned 26 last november 11… well, yeah! i’m not getting any younger but hey… i’m still counting the years. if God will permit me to live for up to 100 years or even if i only have a year left to breathe… life must go on; because no matter how long or how short, life is still a gift and it is sinful to throw it away!

*****

i didn’t watch MMK last night.

while the philippines shed tears on the story of eloisa (a mother suffering from cancer who chose her baby’s life over her own)… i chose to watch ‘their eyes were watching God,’ starring Halle Berry because MMK made me feel bad. of course i sympathized with eloisa and i have great respect and love for mothers , i am just kinda irritated with her husband. that is because, i think, if he already knew that his wife has cancer, and if he was aware that  it was fatal for her to get pregnant, then why didn’t he bother to use contraceptives? can’t he afford to buy a condom?! or he just didn’t want to use one in order get on with the pleasure?! grrrh!!! sometimes men can’t help but just be so self- centered and stupid! no offense, i know there are guys out there who “strive for high ideals”… but sad to say (and apparently), majority of them are just plain a+\%@$^&!

*****

whew! that’s enough for now! LOL!

sem break, sem break and sem break!

This could  be just one of the many nonesense blog entries that I will write, but then I really would like to celebrate this so-called sem break (even if it means only 3 days of rest and going to hospitals for enrichment… whew!).

I’m just so glad that the semester is finally over. I’m glad becuase for the moment, I will be free from all the anxiety attacks during quizzes, exams and duty weeks; free from all the annoying, envious and hater classmates! hehehehe!

I’m just so happy it’s sem break… I know for a fact that the one who invented it is a real genius!

How to save a life?

“Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.”- Morris Schwartz

What do people do when death is paraded right in front of them? How would you feel if the person that you were just laughing with yesterday is gone tomorrow?

I have received news of someone (whom I know quite well) dying before this week came to a close. Upon hearing, I felt an unexplainable sadness that is far different from any other sadness that I have felt in my entire life. (Nope, this is not an exaggeration nor just a mere decoration for this write up. This is what I truly feel).

Not that I have never known someone close to me die or something like that, it’s just that lately I’ve been hit by the thought that life indeed is short. So short that sometimes you can hardly believe the changes that happen right before your very eyes.

Last Monday, my former colleague told me through a text message that one of our former students committed suicide. He was only 15 years old.  I just felt, sad, confused and angry. I was their former Guidance Counselor and I just felt so sad. My mind was full of questions as to why or how did he committed suicide, or did he really understand what he did… questions that will forever remain unanswered. Just before I resigned from the school that I worked for, he was an innocent boy with a smile that is as bright as his eyes… and now he’s gone.

But if there’s any consolation, his death made me more aware of my life, my dreams and the people that I love. I am not getting any younger but his sudden death made me re-evaluate my life and then now I truly realize that I have to live every moment I have left in this world as if it is my last. No one will ever know when his or her time will come- I will never know when my time will come.

Even if I am still confused and sad, i know that God in His infinite wisdom allowed his death to happen. I may not comprehend it now or within my lifetime but I know for sure it happened for a reason.

May you rest in peace, Roy. May God keep you in HIs loving arms.

@ the Regional Hospital

Today is our third day of duty in the regional hospital and I have learned a lot during the past two days that we’re there.

Yes, it is far from our base hospital and definitely, it is not your ideal hospital in the world.

But seeing those patients and being able to help them in my own little way makes me realize the value of my profession and how I am becoming more and more eager to become a nurse.

We still have three days left in this area and I am looking forward to learn more.

So sad

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to sincerely make friends with someone, you often end up being rejected and to some extent betrayed by those whom you consider close to your heart.

I cannot help but feel sad about it… but then looking at the brighter side , there are still those who will truly care and appreciate my friendship and that is enough to keep me from feeling bad about those people who would never value my loyalty and my worth as a person

****

As I am now writing this blog entry, my mother is right here beside me ranting on how dirty my brother’s room is. She is actually pissed off about me not helping the household chores and not sticking my ass out in cleaning the floor. Gosh! I know what’s the next thing that she’s gonna do, she’ll ostracize me and make ‘palipad sa hangin’ about my laziness. She will not stop and will irritate the heck out of me. she really knows how ruin my day and my blog entry!

This house is never intellectually stimulating! Once my brain gets the feel of writing something and I sit in front of this computer, there she is ruining everything! She will never understand because she refuses to understand! I have given up hope on accepting me as I truly am. But that’s fine. She has to accept the fact that I have a life of my own and if I choose not to adhere to her will, if i choose not to clean the house… the, SHE CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!

Now this is not a total disrespect but a mere expression of feelings. My mother sure does now how to ruin my day! Of all the people in the world! GGRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My life as an SN

The semester is almost over and it is just now that I’ve realized that I have been signing my patient’s chart with an ‘SN’ (Student Nurse) attached to my name… don’t worry I didn’t do something illegal or anything, signing ‘SN’ at the end of our names after closing our patient’s chart is an SOP.

It’s just that I am now faced with the reality that I am already a part of each of my patient’s health care and I am always left in awe whenever I remember how I was able to connect with them; some of them I befriended, some of them were mean and demanding but all in all, they made me learn a lot about this new profession that I am about to join. Dealing with them made me feel a different sense of responsibility and stewardship.

I have been happy and to be with my students when I was working as a teacher and counselor but now, I have really come to appreciate the nursing profession and finally recognize its uniqueness from all the other line of work.

Never had I imagined that I would one day be enjoying this kind of job. But to all the teachers and psychologists who might be able to read this entry, I am telling you now that nursing, education and psychology are actually intertwined, and for me it’s nice to know that by being as student nurse, I still am able to recall and apply the things that I have learned in my previous courses.

I may have been capped already but I still have a lot of things to learn and a lot of areas to explore in this course and I am now more excited and challenged as to what might lie ahead. I know it won’t be an easy path to trek, but I’m trekking anyway.

I hope and pray that it will be for the  good of me and of my future patients.

Then that’s your problem!

Well, now… one of the reasons why I have been changing blogs is that I have noticed that most of times, my blog would contain all my rantings about the negative things, people and events that I have to deal with. Well, I’m very much aware that blogs are actually made for that reason (also), but would really like it better if it contains more of the happier and carefree side of me. But then, sometimes you can’t just help but let somethings inside of you to flow out just to save your sanity. So now, I’m gonna write again about the people who are pissed off by my existence… but well, that’s their problem!

***

There is this girl in my class who happens to be my group mate in our Related Learning Experience subject also… and I don’t know what has gotten into her because she has been keeping an eye in all of my actions, especially in doing nursing procedures and has been constantly pissing me off by teasing me that I have already devoured our whole lecture notes the day before a quiz. It really annoys me, yet I still treated her to as one of my friends.

Suddenly, I noticed that she is trying to ostracize me in our group and this she does by helping my other group mates while hiding all the other nursing procedures from me. There was even a time when I was walking home with two of our other group mates when she suddenly came and pulled one of them, jokingly saying ‘updi ko beh’ (please come with me), without even bothering to say ‘excuse me’ or at least something similar to that. She flashed her fake smile and acted like it was nothing.  But hey! I wasn’t born yesterday, that act really made me feel bad and left out. Nonetheless, I decided to let it go.

The lecture week after that incident, I discovered that she has been back bitting me and I got really, really furious!

(Don’t jump into conclusions, please! I didn’t smash her face as what most of you might be thinking!)

My own reaction actually surprised me more than anybody else. Usually, when I am extremely mad and whenever I feel that I have been dealt with unfairly, I would usually burst and rant nonstop about it. I could even reach a point when I am going to confront the person who has hurt me. But during that time, I didn’t. (Not as much as before, at least! LOL!).

I realized that if she thinks I’m a threat to her, that I’m better and I’m smarter, then she’s the one who is feeding her insecurities. That’s definitely not my fault!

I sincerely offered her my friendship and if ever she has mistaken my offering her assistance in the clinical area as a way of taking away her procedures, then that’s definitely her perception and I feel bad that she didn’t even bother to ask and clarify things with me. But then that’s her problem!

I know within myself that I only had good intentions and no way will I ever compete with her!

Gosh! This is already like my third college degree! Ever since before I never really competed with anyone when it comes to grades! That’s a very stupid thing to waste my time on, only insecure losers do that!

But on the lighter side, I am still hoping that things between me and this girl would be fixed, maybe not now, some other time perhaps… but until then all I can say to her is that, if  you don’t like me and you’re jealous of me (modesty aside)…. then that’s your problem!

The planella boy

After our farewell dinner for Ate Annie last Thursday, I came across a little boy selling ‘planellas’ (rags used to wipe glass) and he said: ” ‘nang, baligya ko ni anum ka bilog, shin lang. wala pa ko ka panyapon” (Miss, I’m selling this for 6 pieces for 100 pesos, I still haven’t eaten my dinner yet).

I was crushed.

That boy was about around six or seven years old. He is supposed to enjoy the innocent and carefree moments of his childhood yet he was out there in the cold and dark night selling rags to feed himself and his family.

I was thinking of buying him a meal but I realized I haven’t brought my wallet with me. instead, my dad gave him some coins and muttered something like… ‘Oh, pity that child!’

That fateful night made me think about all the things that I have wasted in my life- time, money and the like, material or otherwise, and how other people like that little boy might have needed them more badly than I did.

As we drove Ate Annie home, I cannot help but feel guilty thinking about how I took for granted all wonderful things given to me and how conspicuous I am. I felt ashame because I remember my often irrational compulsion to buy things that are not really necessary or eat even if my tummy is already distended (smile!) and how I am never ever contended with what I have, And I feel ashame, so ashame of myself…

Aside from saying goodbye to Ate Annie that night was very special because I met the planella boy. It was nothing grand, it might have even been just a mere coincidence, but I was glad that I was able to come across that little boy.

It made me realized that I am so blessed and that I have all the reason to be happy. I may not have as much, I may not be rich and all, but I have a lot of things to be grateful for… and I would like to thank that little boy too, for being a part of my life.

I will never know what his name is, where he came from, or what will happen to him next, but I pray that God will bless him and keep him safe always.

Thank you, planella boy.